“During her existence, Mel has been paid money to put mail in mailboxes full of earwigs and spiders, shovel various animal wastes, keep teenagers from seeing movies they weren’t old enough to go to, and once lasted an entire day babysitting a child who chewed hot dogs with his mouth open. She decided working in radio would be easier than all of those things. She was very wrong about that, but at least she doesn’t have to deal with spiders all that often.
Mel lives off a diet of Cheerios and schnitzel, has a wiener dog named Jagger that frequently gets trapped inside blankets, and has a skeleton roommate named James Earl Bones who insists on going to the bathroom with the door open. She loves every Marvel movie (even the ones that suck) and is the only person on Earth who admits to liking Smashmouth.